Yep, still alive. You might have wondered. To be fair I’ve been rather busy, between trips home and hurricanes and trying to adjust my diurnal needs with the yearly dearth of daylight. You know, things.
I do have lots of things to show you, but they’ll be along shortly. I’m writing today to confess a problem.
Ever since I was little, I’ve been a big reader. My habit was to have three books going at once; one for school, one for “around the house,” and one for bedtime reading. I read a lot, is the thing. And during all this reading, I developed another interesting habit: I always finished my books. Whether in spite of or by virtue of my prolific reading, I wasn’t a very discerning reader. I’d pick up most anything, and I’d finish it. I honestly can’t remember there being a book I read when I was a kid that I didn’t enjoy. I’ve probably just blocked them out.
I can still remember the first book I read of my own volition that I thought was a total waste of my time: The Dream of Scipio, by Iain Pears. I slogged through it manfully, and was utterly let down by the time I finished. I felt validated that I’d finished it in spite of not liking it a single bit.
As the years have gone on, I have encountered many more books that I have not liked. Most of them I have gritted my teeth and powered through, and a rare few have been so wretched that I’ve just tossed them aside. I hate doing it; it feels like quitting. Probably because it is. But I’ve been trying lately to remind myself that my time is finite, and that it’s silly to waste it reading something I don’t enjoy. Putting something aside that doesn’t do it for you is a totally valid response when you’re talking about something you do for the sake of entertainment.
There’s this niggling feeling that “if I just stick it out, it will get better. Right?”
NO, SELF. IT WON’T. And if it does, if you hear from a zillion people later that it’s The Great American What-Have-You or something, guess what?
YOU CAN TRY IT AGAIN.
But in the meantime, I need to exercise my “eff-it” muscle. I need to put aside this vapid piece of urban fantasy teen-lit that is doing nothing for me and dive into something way more awesome. I can do this. I CAN.