I recently got a new backpack. My old one was starting to wear thin on its bottom, and was generally too capacious for the amount of stuff I need on a daily basis. I was ready for a change.

So I did my research, compared my options, and took the plunge. I got my new bag, and to my dismay, began suffering a sore back and shoulders fraught with tension. I could alleviate this problem by tightening the straps, but the the bottom of the bag (and therefore the heaviest, thanks to physics) then rests in a very uncomfortable position on my tailbone.

It occurred to me just now that this has been the case with every backpack I’ve ever had. Instead of nestling into the small of my back and supporting that curvature with its weight, the bag lies oppressively on the topmost edge of my hipbones. It sucks.

And why?

Because I’m short-waisted.

I’ve dealt with this issue with clothing my whole life. Why it never dawned on me that my abbreviated torso was also to blame for my backpackular discomfort is a mystery. But at least now I know.

I am doomed to walk the earth alone, with an uncomfortable load. Unless I can find a bag that’s custom-built.